Sins Heaven
by Abandoned-At-Sea
Summary: Loosing somebody can do a total on people. And that means grieving, and wanting attention. When Kairi needs to be pulled through, only Riku seems to be able to help her get a grip on life, and seeing what life is really about. Rating WILL change. Warning for language, themes, and actions made.
1. The One That Protects

**Hey everyone. So again, I've been thinking on a new story. This is kind've out of my rate, but whatever. Hope you guys enjoy.  
Disclaimer; I do not own Kingdom Hearts, any characters mentioned, nor do I own any music that may be mentioned.**

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Riku looked into his friend's sorrowful eyes. The bright light that held the friendship of two bestfriends, slowly crumbled. Crumbled right infront of him. Riku lowered his head, and put his arms around her slender frame, holding her tightly. Her quiet sobs grew louder, as she pressed her head to his chest. Riku couldn't help but feel like his heart was being stabbed, and dropped. The aburn haired girl raised her head, looking into Riku's emerald eyes. She looked like she just lost her bestfriend.

Which was the case. Her bestfriend since she was 4, gone, away, to never be able to stand beside her. He was gone. His chocolate brown hair to never be seen again. His smile to brighten her would never be there again, and those blue eyes, they wouldn't be able to melt her heart again.

"It-It's okay Kai..." Riku told his friend, hugging her more. Kairi's pain was let out earlier, and now she was weakened, and Riku knew she needed him now. She needed someone to pull her through. He watched the girl bang her fists agains the wall, screaming, and hitting her head on the hard wooden floor. She wasn't in her right mind, nor was she sober. "N-No...R-R-Riku it's n-n-not..." she cried out to him. "H-he-he's gone." She slid to the floor, causing Riku to lose his grasp on her. Riku lowered to his knees, sitting infront of her. He tried holding back his tears, but the urge to cry jerked, and pulled, yet he still held it back.

"Sora is there for us..he's j-just..not here. He is. We just can't..see him." The silver haired youth told her. He got up to his feet, and pulled Kairi up to hers, holding onto her greatly. The smell of cheep wine filled his nostrils, as he pulled her closer. He wasn't surprised, she was like that for the past few days. He couldn't leave her for five minutes, or she'd get drunk.

Kairi placed a hand on Riku's shoulder, helping herself walk. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were torn, and bloody from where she tore up her fists, which Riku caught her just in time from breaking anything. Riku walked her to the bathroom, and setting her on the toliet seat. Kairi looked up to the mirror infront of them, and studied the girl that stared back at her. She saw a blonde, that resembled her, but then saw herself. She looked rough. Black under eye circles, smeared makeup, and hair that was knotted. Her lips quivered at the sight, as she looked back up at Riku. "I look..terrible..." she slurred out, trying to calm herself.

Riku shook his head. "No you don't, Kai. You just need to relax." Kairi nodded, putting her head in her hands. Her headache grew into a migraine, causing her to grip her head. "Damnit.." she whispered out. Riku sighed, as he turned to the red head. "I'm running you some water. You need to clean up. Then, you can come stay with me tonight. Sad to say, but I don't trust you to be by yourself." Kairi gave Riku a stare. Her blue eyes seemed to be souless, which made her seem like an empty shell.

After her water was ran, Riku walked out, and shut the door behind him. He hoped and prayed to god she wouldn't do anything stupid. Sora's been dead for three days, and everyone's basically fell apart. It's amazing what a car crash can do. Riku was thinking hard, when Kairi came out, and broke his thought.

He looked up, and noticed she was just half ready, her top half covered in towel. "Kai, just put on something comfortable." Riku told her. She grabbed a night bag, and tossed some pants, and a half altered crop top into her bag, along with some medication, and a hairbrush. A pink iPod sat in her lap, and both of her ears plugged with a pair of lime green ear buds. Riku got the memo that she was giving, which meant "Shut the hell up. I don't care to hear what you're saying."

Kairi turned her back towards Riku, and pulling off the towel. Riku didn't mind, because he felt nothing for Kairi in that way, and looking at her body wasn't what he cared for. She put on a laced bra, and a loose white shirt, giving Riku a fake smile. "Well..I'm ready when you are, Riku." Riku nodded, taking her bag for her, leading her out. Kairi stuck her key into the door, twisting the lock.

Once they got into Riku's car, Kairi placed her head on the window, looking out the window, staring into the sky. Riku looked over, at her, and placed a hand on hers. She looked over, and gave Riku a confused look, but held his hand.

The ride to Riku's house was quiet, but peaceful. Kairi felt mentally abused, but Riku's comfort gave her somewhere to hide...somewhere to rest. Kairi took out one earbud, and looked over at Riku. "Thanks, Riku.." She whispered out. Riku nodded. "It's no problem, Kairi. We're friends."

Riku pulled into his driveway, and grabbed Kairi's things. He helped her out the car, and unlocked his door. He placed Kairi's bag on the couch, and headed to the kitchen. There, he pulled out a bottle of pills, and some water, handing it to Kairi. "That will help your headache. Since you're not to drunk, you should feel better in the night." Kairi did as told, swallowing both pills, and gulping down the water.

"Riku..where do you want me to sleep?" Kairi asked. "I will sleep on the couch, you can sleep in my bed. I don't mind." He replied "Bu-...Riku..please. Lay with me..." Riku turned and looked at his friend, who was looking at the floor, bangs covering her eyes. Riku scratched his neck sheepishly. "W-well..okay." Kairi followed Riku to his room, and making her way towards his bed. The bed was big enough for both of them, but Riku's never even thought to lay with her. He kept his interests from her, because Sora and her were into each other. He knew. He could tell.

Riku walked towards the bathroom, stripping to his boxers, and placing on a plain t-shirt, and pajama pants. He then walked back to his room, peaking in. Kairi was lying still, which made him think she was asleep. He climbed onto his side of the bed, and made a comfortable spot. Kairi moved closer his way, and looked at him. "I..I-" Riku sighed and shook his head. "It's okay." Then on cue, Kairi placed her head on Riku's chest. What the hell was she doing? Were girls this needy? And why was she doing this?

Riku patted her head, and looked down at her. She seemed...at peace. But the way she breathed told him different. She breath fast, but a small smile pursed her lips. _"Sora..." _she whispered out. She must've been dreaming about him, Riku assumed. She hugged closer to Riku, putting a death grip on him, scratching his side a bit. He made a groaning sound in pain, filling the stinging come from his side. Her peacful face turned into a confused one, and soon turned into an angered one. "Stop! Get off!" She called.

"Kairi?" Kai! Wake up!" Riku shook her, and patted her face, bringing her into reality. She looked down in embarrassment, trying to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I-I-I'm sorry..." She cried out, looking over at Riku, and to his side, where a bit of blood stained his shirt. He shook his head. "Stop. Okay? Stop apologizing. Stop crying, and don't worry about me. Just..try to go to sleep." He pushed her down gently, and hugged onto her. Kairi's eyes were wide in shock, but she soon let the tired era of her body take her over, sending her to sleep. Riku on the other hand, was lost, mad, confused, and upset. He didn't want to do this to his friend.

But maybe, she needed to get a grip on reality.

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**Woo..finished Chapter 1~ **

**I'm actually happy with this, so I hope I can get on a roll with it. ^^**

**Read, review, fave, you know the idea. ;3**

**-Abandoned**


	2. Weaker Than Her

**Long chapter is long.**

**Disclaimer; I obviously own nothing. Nor do I own the song "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin, or "In This River" by Black Label Society.**

**WARNING; for Roxas's actions and language.**

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The feel of confusion filled the aburn haired girl, as she woke up, seeing Riku beside her. Her body was numb, and her fists and head trobbed with pain. Her hand flew up to her sore temples, causing the bed to flinch with sudden movement. Riku slowly flicked open an emerald orb, looking at his friend. "Told you you'd have a headache." He told her simply, leaning up. Kairi let out a deep sigh, and looked over at Riku. "Oh well. It's more of my hands and mind, nothing more." She rubbed her temples harder, hoping to soothe the pain. "Fuuuuck." She whimpered out. "Watch it." Riku replied, not liking the way she went from pure and bright to just plain...dirty.

Kairi pulled herself up swiftly, And pulled up her bag, that was now brought up sometime during the night by Riku. She threw out a bra, her top, and some shorts that were inside the side of her jeans that she threw in. She smiled at the large striped crop top, and how it hung of the shoulder, revealing her belly button. She looked at her belly button, and sighed at the metal piece in her stomach. She remembered getting tore up with Xion, and some drunk bastard gave them a piercing for 20 bucks.

Riku must've saw her looking at the ring, because he cleared his throat. "Take it out if you don't like it." Kairi just shook her head, and grabbed her clothes, heading for the bathroom. She undressed, and looked at her bare body. She felt embarrassed by taking in her own reflection, just staring. She felt nothing but dirty.

After she felt representable, she grabbed a brush and put her hair into a loose bun. She smiled at her work, and begain to put on a bit of eyeliner. After putting the black liner on her outter eye, she looked at herself again. _"Perfect." _She picked up her clothes that were now scattered to the floor, with sorts of various items. Running up towards Riku's room, Kairi slid to her feet, causing Riku to catch her.

"Woah!" She cried out, almost hitting the hard wooden floor. "Be careful, hothead." He told his friend, pulling her to her feet. He studied the girl's outfit of choice, finding it weird that he's never seen her wear it. She usually kept her body hidden, for reasons only..Sora knew.

She smirked at him, and sat on his bed. "Riku, can we visit Sora's gravesite today?..." Kairi quietly hummed out. Riku gave a slight nod, grabbing his day clothes so he could get out of the house. Kairi fished out her iPod, while Riku got dressed. When she found the item, she unplugged the earbuds, so she could work and listen.

Then, when Sora's favorite song played, Kairi felt a small tear run down her cheeks.

_Something's getting in the way.  
Something's just about to break.  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
As I burn another page,  
As I look the other way.  
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
So tell me how it should be._

_Desperate, I will crawl  
Waiting for so long  
No love, there is no love.  
Die for anyone  
What have I become?_

She flipped through her songs, but that one played through her head. After landing on one, she stuck to it, waiting for Riku. "Alright, Kai. Let's go." Riku told her, motioning to the door.

Soonly after, Kairi and Riku stood infront of their friends' grave. It big letters it read _"Sora Hikari" _Reading the name send a bullet through Kairi's heart, as she leaned onto Riku. Tears spilled down Kairi's blue orbs, onto her cheeks. Riku knew her good mood of earlier would soon fade to black. "K-Kai..come on. We're going to..go to the beach."  
Kairi obeyed Riku's voice, but her feet were like concrete, unable to move. Riku grabbed Kairi's waist, and guided her to the car that was infront of them. Riku's heart raced for a place to hide, knowing that with Sora gone, nothing would be the same.

Kairi dug her pale feet into the sand, comforting by the warmth under. It was about mid October, but it didn't get cold until around the end of November. Her arms were propped on her knees, staring at the sun that hit down on her. She let out a deep sigh, feeling a thump beside her. "Riku, what did you bring me here for?" Riku sighed out. "We need to talk Kairi. And it's about Sora, and what we are going to do. Have you considered even talking to Roxas yet?" Kairi gave Riku a glare, Roxas couldn't do a damn thing to make her happy.

"He's in worse shape than I. I think it's best not." Kairi replied, putting her hand to her heart.

Roxas was Sora's older brother, by a year, making him Riku's age, seventeen. Sora and Kairi were sixteen. Kairi's birthday wasn't to long ago, just about a month actually, but all this confusion made it feel like she was only five again.

"That may be the case, Kai. However, Roxas hasn't came out of his house. I think it's best if you try and talk to him, since you, Sora, and Roxas were close." Kairi stood up from her position, and climbed back into Riku's car. "Fine...play like that. I'm dropping you off anyway." Riku told her, even though she couldn't hear him.

Riku climbed into the drivers seet, and started the car. "Kairi?" The aburn haired girl looked his way. "Please. Talk to him."

"Fine. I just..I don't want things to get..worse." She whispered out, trying to control herself. Riku rested a hand on her shoulder. "Roxas will understand. Just, see if he's ok, and not doing anything ignorant." Kairi felt a faint feel brawl into her chest. Hopefully, Roxas wasn't like that anymore.

Roxas struggled with depression a while back, after Sora and his parents died in a storm. As said. Nobody really knows, and Kairi never had the guts to ask the spiky-haired duo. But then again, their cousin wasn't the most stable person either. Surprisingly though, Sora never acted like Roxas or Vanitas.

_Vanitas_

That name urked Kairi. Even though Vanitas was their friend, he still gave her a weird feeling. And he even resembled Sora, except black hair and topaz eyes. Vanitas was as old as Roxas, but looked about 19, due to his height and act in nature. He'd make sexual comments, touch them weird, and sometimes try and take them to the next level. Not that he's done it to Kairi, but he'd had done it to Xion quite a few times. But deep down, Vanitas did have some type of heart. He cared, but had a damn hard time showing it.

After they pulled into Roxas's driveway, Kairi stared at the house infront of her. Her heart slowly began to sink, after giving Riku one last look. "I'll pick you up later." Riku told her, in a concerned tone. She nodded, and stepped out of the car with an iPod and her phone in hands. She waved to Riku, and headed for the door. Kairi could hear music blaring through the door, knowing he couldn't hear a knock. Instead, she walked in, unable to see anything.

_In this river all shall fade to black  
In this river ain't no comin' back_

Kairi grew worried. All lights were off, and nobody seemed home. She shined a bright light from her phone, finding that the house seemed untouched. It was clean, and felt odd.

_This stone that's broken me my only friend, yeah  
In this river all shall fade to black  
In this river ain't no coming back  
All shall fade to black..and ain't no coming back_

Kairi ran towards Roxas's room, as soon as the music came to a hault. She heard a sob, then a loud scream in fear, anger, and lostness.  
Pushing through the door, Kairi turned on a bright light, almost breaking at the scene infront of her.

Her small hands flew up to her mouth, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

She watched the blood pour from Roxas's wrists, and the tired look in his face. When he snapped into reality, and saw his friend there, he broke to pieces. "Kairi..sorry..you had to..see." Roxas's voice faded in and out, as he tried to make sense of what was going on. Kairi grabbed a shirt from Roxas's dresser, and wrapped them around his arms. Luckily, he didn't strike a vein.

Crimson blood stained the light shirt, causing Roxas to lay his head back on his wall. His golden locks were a mess, and his aqua orbs were a dark grey. His eyes showed red, from either crying, or he was just fucked up.

Kairi wrapped her arms around Roxas, causing light sobs to come from him. "I-I-I don't...I-.." Roxas tried to find the words to use, but he couldn't. He was lost. Kairi just petted his head in comfort, trying to find his calming place. Roxas responded, laying his head on Kairi's chest, hugging her tightly. "Shh...It's okay, Roxas.." she told him in a calming voice.

After an hour had passed, Kairi had Roxas settled down, and laying on his bed. She searched for wrapping bandages, peroxide, and things to clean his wounds. She looked down at her clothes, noticing Roxas's blood had stained the side. _"Damn. What am I going to tell Riku?" _When she walked back to the room, Roxas was curled into a ball, with his hands over his face, trying to block the light. "Roxas...? Turn on your back." Kairi told him, weakly. After done as told, Kairi brushed his bangs out of his eyes with her fingers, placing a cool rag on his head. She admired his boyish features, as they reminded her of Sora so well.

She took his wrist, and cleansed it softly with a cloth, dabbing water onto the surface, moving to the other. After they were cleaned, Roxas lifted both wrists, studying them with a good hard stare. Kairi grabbed his arm gently, and looked up at him with a concerned look. Roxas stared back with confusion, looking like an empty shell. She lightly planted a kiss on each wound, and continued to work. Soon, the wounds were in a wrap, and Roxas was blood free.

"Roxas, I'm staying here tonight. Just so you won't do anything."

Roxas looked back at her, and gave her a look that made it seem like he was looking through her.

"Uh...did you hear me?" Kairi blurted.

"Be my guest." He simply replied.

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**Writing Roxas's part broke my heart. ;-; **

**Anyways, yeah. Read, review, favor it. You got the idea.**

**-Abandoned**


	3. One Wrong Move

**So, hi again. Anyways, here is chapter 3. It's got a bit of cussing, and an assault. Otherwise, yeah..**

**Anyways. Enjoy.**

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Without much problem of finding things to make a pallet on the floor with, Kairi begain her work of making her spot. She needed to call Riku, so he knew the situation, but she needed to check back with Roxas first.

"Hey, Roxas, you okay?" she asked, concerned. She didn't get a reply, but had a strong shaky feel crawl her spine. Suddenly, she felt a presence come up behind her, not knowing Roxas had left his room.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." He spoke out, lazily. Kairi turned around swiftly, scared by the sudden presence. "You need to get sleep, Roxas. You look..rough." She stampered out, not meaning to be rude. "Before that, Kairi..can you help me? Like..talk me out of commiting suicide?" He asked, with a blank stare.

At first, Kairi could have sworn she was hearing things, but Roxas had said what she was least hoping for. "Wh-What?" She bubbled out, trying to not loose herself.

"Well..since I don't have Sora, then I have no point being here, right? What the hell do I live for? I'm not fucking happy, a- and.." Roxas looked down, with balled up fist, his urge to cry steadily rose.

"You..you can't..Roxas. You're my friend. A-and Sora wouldn't want that. H-he'd want you to be happy. To..to take care of your friends. You've got a bright future, Roxas. Open your eyes, and see that!" the redhead called out, fighting back tears. "I've lost one friend! Do you want to put more stress on everyone, damnit?! Stop!" Kairi's level of sanity was about to break, until she looked up, and found a calmer Roxas, staring down at her.

"Kai, you're..you..why? Just..nobody excepted me. Everyone thought I was a fucking lunatic, and..and never wanted me around. You're wrong, Kairi.." He replied, looking right through her.

"No, Roxas. I'm not the one who is wrong...it's you! Do you not realize how much you mean to me and everyone else?! W-"

Without being able to finish, Kairi found herself pinned to Roxas's wall, unable to move. He moved closer to her face, and gave her a half smirk.

"So..you want to MAKE me happy? Then, DO what I SAY!" He yelled, thrusting his tounge into her mouth.

Kairi stood with fear, and shock, unable to move. Roxas was alot more powerful than her, so she couldn't do much.

Moving her head left to right, she tried her best to fight the angry and confused blonde off. "Ro- Roxas! Ge-Get off of me, Goddamnit!" She screamed out, inbetween the forces of kisses.

Her tone just made Roxas more fired up, still unsure of what he was doing. Yet, he wasn't sure _why _he was assaulting his friend. With a cloudy mind, Roxas was in his own daze, until he felt a knee go into his stomach, making him clench it, and move back.

He looked up at Kairi, who was now sunk to the floor, crying deep sobs. _"Wh-what..have I done?" _He looked down at his wrists, that were cleaned gently, and showered with love, by the one he just hurt. Not just pshysically, but more mentally than the other.

Roxas pulled himself up to his feet, walking to the scared girl, who was now shivering in the corner, hiding her face behind small hands. Her wrists were a slight purple, due to a tight hold Roxas wasn't aware of.

"P-pl-please..do-don't hurt m-me!" She protested, inbetween grossly cries. Instead of staying away, though, Roxas pulled her closer to him, leaving her no way to escape his hold. Instead of his tight hold he had her in, he held her in a comforting embrace, trying to calm her shaking figure.

Roxas pulled away, for the sake of Kairi and looked down at her. Her eyeliner was now smudged, running down her cheeks. Her light pink and white top was now spotted with blood, and her messy bun was knotted in the back, where she was held against her will.

"Kairi..I'm..I'm so sorry.." he told her, giving her as much room as he could.

There was a silence between the two, that started to choke up Roxas. At that time, Kairi was already calmed down, but didn't dare to look up at the male infront of her. Roxas laid flat on his back, on the pallet Kairi fixed before the attack. If she wasn't going to talk, then he felt like saying nothing was best.

Kairi looked up from her knees to peak a look at the blonde. He looked like he'd been in a battle with himself, trying to calm down. His chest moved swiftly, until it started to calm down. She wanted to say something, but her mouth closed, as soon as Roxas sat in position.

"You can leave. I understand if you don't want to be here, now...I just..I don't know what got into me, Kai." Roxas reached over towards a pill bottle, that was atleast new. He stared at it a minute, and tossed it towards a wall, accidentally landing before Kairi.

Kairi stared at the pill bottle, and then glared at Roxas. She snatched up the bottle, and carefully read the information, through blurry vision.

_"Roxas Hikari: take two pills a day, as dirrected for depression and anxiety. Do not take with acohol, or if you're pregnant, or may become pregnant. Stop taking immediantly, if signs show to be worse."_

Kairi looked at the date, and the number of pills. There were 60 pills inside, and were filled a week ago. Yet, the bottle stated to take everyday.

"You..need to take these.." Kairi whimpered out, throwing the bottle back at Roxas. Roxas didn't hesitate, if it would help Kairi feel better, than he would. He gulped down the pills, spilling some water into his mouth, and tossing the bottle back into his drawer.

"I guess so...they make me..different." He told her, now walking her way. Kairi looked up at the extended hand, that was now reaching for her. The black and white rings on Roxas's fingers made her think of the first time he's ever helped her, and now he wanted to take back what he did. Kairi didn't hesitate to reach for Roxas's hand, but jerked back as soon as she was on her feet.

"No need to be sorry. It's just going to take me some time to..get over that." She stated, putting a hand to her lips. Roxas's lips felt intoxicating, and dangerous, making her shake with chills. Roxas nodded, and opened his bedroom door. "Thanks, Kai. Oh, and..you can go home. I promise, that I will not do anything stupid, and I will call you before I go to bed." He replied, with an embarrassed tone.

Before Kairi could answer, headlights caught her attention. "O-okay. Riku was supposed to pick me up after an hour anyways. Goodnight, Roxas." The teen told him, waving a small hand.

He waited until she was out the door, to give his reply.

"Goodnight, Kai."

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**And done. I really need to work on my other stories soo..**

**-Abandoned**


End file.
